I am helping my friend to look for an apartment to share near campus. Below are the brief descriptions of apartments on the Internet. One of the apartments named Fairfax has large two bedrooms while the other named campus apt. only has one bedroom available immediately in large modern building. Although, both of them are near campus, they are different in many ways. First of all, Fairfax apt. is unfurnished whereas campus apt. is furnished. Furthermore, on account of pets being allowed at Fairfax apt. while they are not allowed at campus apt. if you feel like keeping a pet home, Fairfax is a better choice for you. Moreover, all utilities included at Fairfax apt. so that you don’t need to worry about it; however, campus apt. doesn’t have. There are important details that my friend must take them into account. Based on the information above, I believe that he can rent an excellent apartment for himself.

while the other named campus apt. only has one bedroom available immediately in large modern building 我覺得到AVAILABLE就可以停了 因為你後面那段感覺是比較優點的方面
ReplyDelete其他沒什麼問題~~
campus apt這個要大寫喔~
ReplyDeleteapt.的後面不需要句點喔=)
One of the apartments named Fairfax has large two bedrooms while the other named campus apt. only has one bedroom available immediately in large modern building.
這句有些東西可以拆成兩句寫喔~
available immediately的地方~
因為另一個不行~
所以能再多做一次比較=)
只有一些小問題~
其他比較和排序都不錯=)
第四行後面 in large modern building 有點多餘
ReplyDelete其他的除了 campus apt要大寫外 都還不錯
I am helping my friend to look for an apartment to share near campus.這間房子不是你們要一起住的嗎 怎麼說是你幫你朋友找呢?
ReplyDeleteif you feel like keeping a pet home, Fairfax is a better choice for you.
怎麼會有you 呢 不是你在找房子嗎 這樣感覺你在建議別人
這篇 的人稱設定上怪怪的 要多注意1
I am helping my friend to look for an apartment to share near campus開頭這句我感覺跟老師要我們寫的方向不太一樣耶~應該是你要住的對吧~
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, on account of pets being allowed at Fairfax apt. while they are not allowed at campus apt. if you feel like keeping a pet home, Fairfax is a better choice for you.(While前面要逗號喔~if要記得大寫)
其他的都還ok^-^