I am hiring a new English Instructor for my school. On account of having many differences, Lynn and Debra are both so outstanding and qualified that it is hard for me to judge who is better. For me, they both have qualifications for the position and leave nothing to be desired, as a consequence, please you follow the two resumes below and lend me a helping hand. Firstly, Debra who has three academic degrees has more education and employment experience than Lynn Debra, Lynn, who graduated form New York University
空兩格唷!!
ReplyDeleteas a consequence不是連接詞吧?!
a competitive swimmer. 這點徵工作條件在履歷表已經超怪，不要打出來比較好唷=ˇ=
我覺得你要自己選出一個人會比較好吧，不然說不定那兩人其中一人的朋友看到這天篇就跟你推薦他朋友就好啦XD
文法沒什麼錯誤很棒!不過巨型一直重複，可以多多運用講義上的句型唷~
please you follow the two resumes below要把you省略喔~有兩個地方
ReplyDeleteFor me, they both have qualifications for the position and leave nothing to be desired, as a consequence, please you follow the two resumes below and lend me a helping hand.
ReplyDelete-->For me, they both have qualifications for the position and leave nothing to be desired; as a consequence, please reading the two resumes below and lend me a helping hand.
Lastly, Debra who is major in French is a competitive swimmer.
我覺得這個可以省略
然後要自己選出一個唷~
that it is hard for me to judge who is better
ReplyDelete這裡的judge有點不合~
可以用decide~
please you follow the two resumes below and lend me a helping hand.
這邊用please you有點怪~
可以用could you=)
Secondly, compared with Debra, Lynn are graduated ~in Spanish, French and Japanese.
這樣會比較通順喔!!!
Based on the personal information above, please you give me some advice.
和上面的please you follow the two resumes below and lend me a helping hand.
有點相向!!!
可以折一寫!!!
For me, they both have qualifications for the position and leave nothing to be desired, as a consequence, please you follow the two resumes below and lend me a helping hand.
ReplyDeleteas a consequence前面的句子已經可以結尾了
後面那句改成please follow the two...會比較順
第五行Debra who has three academic degrees has more education and employment experience than Lynn
Debra後面加逗號
其他的還ok~
judge who is better -> judge感覺怪怪的 不知道行不行
ReplyDelete, as a consequence, -> ;as a consequence,
Lynn quite stands out-> 脫穎而出從......
最後可以加上你選擇了誰:D
On account of having many differences
ReplyDelete不同應該改成優點會比較順
你好像誤會老師的意思ㄛ
要選一個出來
然後比較為什麼你選他而不是另一個
please you follow the two resumes below and lend me a helping hand這句話感覺有怪怪的~畢竟到頭來還是你自己要做決定~
ReplyDelete放在這邊感覺有點可憐的感覺XD
最後面結尾的部分沒有放決定喔><
Based on the personal information above, please you give me some advice. Thanks for your help這句話會變成是之前寫過的那篇類似徵人啟事喔~要稍微分辨一下會比較好喔=))