On account of the enormous earthquake in Japan causes the radiation leak, we must think over using unclear power. As far as I am concerned, I am on the same page as those who oppose using unclear power to solve the energy crisis. Some may argue that using unclear provides us with a great deal of energy; while there are some flaws that may bring about bad influences on our human beings. To begin with, building a nuclear power plant requires a great deal of government’s financial support. Furthermore, some nature disaster such as tsunami, earthquake and so forth will possibly cause the radiation leak and threaten creature’s life around the world. What’s more, owing to the release of radiation, there are still some severe problems that people have to deal with. For instance, human beings may get cancer unfortunately due to the radiation and plants in the region of the radiation may have gene mutation. It is for all the above-mentioned reasons that I object to use unclear power to solve the energy crisis.

I am on the same page as those who oppose using unclear power
ReplyDelete>> I am on the same page as those who oppose to use unclear power
nature disaster >> nature disasters
creature’s life >>creatures' life
It is for all the above-mentioned reasons
>> It is because what is mentioned above
論點講的很清楚又有道理喔~
還不錯!!
human beings may get cancer unfortunately這句雖然文法沒有錯誤但是中文意思"人們不幸的罹患cancer "好好笑xddd 用不幸有點怪?= =?
ReplyDelete然後我覺得其他的很棒唷
很順!
好棒!
感動!
好害羞:">
On account of the enormous earthquake in Japan causes the radiation leak,
ReplyDelete-->On account of +n /v-ing
On account of the enormous earthquake in Japan causing the radiation leak,
creature’s life
-->creatures’ lives
我覺得很好
很清楚的說出了理由~~~
第七行的disaster記得加s
ReplyDelete嬸嬸的文章寫得越來越好了耶XDDD
有進步喔~~
第ㄧ句沒有連接詞唷~
ReplyDelete哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
是nuclear 不是unclear
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 笑死我了
第五行while本身就是連接詞解釋為”然而”
倒數七>>natural disaster
倒數五>>creatures' lives
有覺得寫的越來越好囉:)
think over using unclear power
ReplyDelete是不是think about呢?
如果加上列點~
會讓文章更清楚喔!!!
其他都不錯=)
On account of the enormous earthquake in Japan causes the radiation leak,(~不是causes是causing喔=)
ReplyDeletecreature’s life(是creatures~複數喔 )
寫的很棒喔~繼續保持^口^
causes the radiation leak News考卷有出現過欸!!!
ReplyDelete倒數5 some nature disaster // disasters
倒數3 threaten creature’s life around the world // lives
倒數2~3 due to ~ radiation may have gene mutation // have- > trigger
相較之下 你這增加了不少片語的使用喔 繼續加油 這樣看起來文章更活潑了