Wednesday, April 27, 2011
comparing-1
Below are short descriptions based on my comparisons on the information provided on their driver’s license. Firstly, Stephanie Brooks’ hair color and eye color are similar to Ann Friedman. What’s more, both of them are 5’ 3” height. Coincidentally, Stephanie’s birthday is on July 31st the same as Ann’s.
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Below are short descriptions based on my comparisons on the information provided on their driver’s license.
ReplyDeleteon-->between
沒有結論句唷~
然後....好短喔
on the information 用on這個介係詞好奇怪...
ReplyDeleteeye color >> eyes color
內容可以再多一點
然後沒有結論喔
provided on their driver’s license. -->provided by～
ReplyDelete這篇超短~~~~~結論句勒OAQ?
空兩格
ReplyDelete→Below are short descriptions based on my comparisons on(用about比較沒有冗贅感) the information provided on(from會不會比較好) their driver’s license (→drivers’ licenses).
其他OK!
有點短唷~ 結束的好倉卒! 建議可以有結論句或加一些劇情~
也有邏輯的一篇呢!! 阿達長大了XD
Below are short descriptions based on my comparisons on the information provided on their driver’s license.=>provided by
ReplyDeleteFirstly, Stephanie Brooks’ hair color and eye color are similar to Ann Friedman. =>eyes color
結論句沒有寫出來喔~
感覺是一篇比較短促的文章
可以加一點論述喔~~
前後可增加一些輔助的句子~
ReplyDelete像建構一個完整的故事來輔助~
會更豐富=)
像某天在失物招領處的員工...
偶然發現的趣事等等~
on the information//from the information
ReplyDelete痾...太短了
Ada同學是在短時間內飆出來的嗎XDD
這篇文章還滿短的 而且少了結論句 可以再加長
ReplyDelete或者可以使用 likewise或 similarly 這些句型把句子變長
eye color → eyes color
ReplyDelete文章真的很短，而且沒有結論句優!!
可以加點劇情來輔助！