It goes without saying that everyone feel like having an impressive birthday gift.
As a result we can hold a surprising birthday party for our best friends in order to make them have an unforgettable birthday. Below are the ways how to prepare a perfect birthday party for them. To begin with, all we can to is to buy food and some decoration for the party such as balloons, ribbons, gifts and so on. Then we should invite all our friends to the birthday party and enjoy the good time. Moreover, it is necessary for everyone to prepare a gift for the star of longevity to show their sincerity. Then, we could set forth decorating the room and begin to prepare loads of delicious delicacies and dessert, including puddings, chocolate cakes and drinks etcetera. Besides, it is also important for us to prepare some entertainment, such as singing and dancing recreational programs. Furthermore, we should always wear a big smile on our face during the party. Least but not the least, after the party, we need to clean up the room and wipe out the trash. In order to plan a wonderful birthday party for your friend, we should abide by the ways and we could all have a wonderful and unforgettable memory.
第一行就一段唷＠＠!! 好嗎?~?~?~?~~
ReplyDeleteAs a result後面沒逗號唷~
all we can to is to buy 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!!
阿達是do喔 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
然後文法中第二個to會不見唷 哈哈哈哈哈哈!!!!!!
delicious delicacies 美味的美味餐點!有點好笑，...哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
賣摳笑得很厲害XDDD 我也是XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
倒數七 and不要 drinks這要有逗號, etcetera.
正確:..., chocolate cakes, drinks, etc.這樣=ˇ=
倒數四faces唷
Least but not the least 哈哈哈哈哈哈
阿達是Last but not the least 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!
你的文章有有說不出來的怪怪感欸＠＠!!XDDD
真的說不出來=ˋˋ=!!
阿是要計畫一個PARTY不是已經在一個PARTY中唷＠＠
有句子都怪怪不應該是在這個主題裡~
比如你連結束後打掃都出來了唷＠＠＠＠＠＠
哈哈哈哈哈看完之後我跟賣摳都好"愉快"哈哈哈哈
我是不是很壞=ˋˋˋˋ=?!! 哈哈哈哈哈~
恩恩 我覺得文章的內容跟標題好像有越拉越遠的感覺
ReplyDelete到後面好像不應該再出現打掃的部分，畢竟文章標題說的是如何事前準備，事後的工作應該就不用在寫出來了
all we can to is to buy =>all we can do is buy~
文章標提與內容裡面的第幾人稱不一樣耶，應該要固定同一種會比較好
我覺得整篇文章的順序描寫有點怪怪的，而且感覺好像包含了派對前，派對中，和派對後。
我覺得應該是要把重點放在派對前的準備好了，不然這樣就會顯得標題跟內容不搭
1.As a result是結果..語意接起來怪怪的~
ReplyDelete2.To begin with, all we can to is to buy food and some decoration for the party such as balloons, ribbons, gifts and so on. all we can to??少了動詞
3.然後時態宜為過去式
是說~樓上的好嗨XDDD
阿阿~~第3點當作我沒說~我搞錯了= ^ =
ReplyDelete分段怪怪的!
ReplyDeleteall we can (do) is to buy food and some decoration for the party such as balloons
it is necessary for everyone to prepare a gift for the (star of longevity) to show their sincerity好像不能這樣用喔!
Last but not the least才對喔~
delicious delicacies可改為dishes
第一行的It goes without saying that everyone feel like having an impressive birthday gift.
ReplyDelete是feels like喔
第二行As a result we can...
as a result後面要逗號
第五行all we can to is to buy food and some decoration for the party such as balloons, ribbons, gifts and so on.
是all we can do is...XDDDD
第九行Then, we could set forth decorating the room and begin to prepare loads of delicious delicacies and dessert
delicacies已經是佳餚的意思了 不需要再加delicious了
倒數第四行Least but not the least
是last but not the least吧
然後 回答上面vera的問題...是的 她好壞~
為什麼這個Blogger沒有可以回應的系統呢 ?!
ReplyDelete我都被砲的傷痕累累了 :(((((
整個篇幅落落長
ReplyDelete閱卷老師會連看都不想看唷~
第二行開頭後要有逗號
第三行Below are the ways
把the改成some才對
同一個名詞要第二次出現才能加the
然後how要去掉
我發現這句完全是中式寫法喔!
all we can to is to buy food
要改成
all we can do is + VR
decoration忘記s
Moreover, it is necessary for everyone to prepare a gift for "the star of longevity" to show their sincerity.
被我標記符號裡的那句話看不懂你的意思喔
set forth是出發的意思
而且後面也不是+ing喔
還有你那一句話又多此一舉加了being to
是畫蛇添足的~~
delicious delicacies ...這個嘛
應該是說
delicious food=delicacies喔!
dessert忘了s
Least but not the least,
是
Last but not the least
wipe out是擦掉抹掉
應該要用threw out / take out
我記得改你的文章
這篇應該是最多錯誤的吧
你要拿出你的實力不要再混了XD
Below are the ways how to prepare a perfect birthday party for them.
ReplyDeletebelow 不能當名詞耶~ 可改成the steps below~之類的
To begin with, all we can to is to ~
這句這樣寫感覺好像一開始能做的就只有這件事,其他不能
我覺得怪怪的
To begin with, all we can to is to buy food and some decoration for the party such as balloons, ribbons, gifts and so on.
decoration可數
Least but not the least打錯嚕
是Last but not the least
這篇應該是寫party前所做的準備
可是好多都是關於派對中注意的事項~
修改一下會更好
everyone feel like having ~ // feels like
ReplyDeletesome decoration// some decorations
set forth decorating the room
//這裡的set forth我不知道是當甚麼意思欸
如果是要開始進行可以用set out to喔:D
delicacies and dessert//delicacies and desserts
Besides, it is also important for us
//besides和also 應該可以擇一唷
such as singing and dancing recreational programs
//such recreational programs as singing and dancing
after the party, we need to clean up the room and wipe out the trash
我比較習慣把兩句位置替換:>
In order to plan a~ unforgettable memory.
我會改成這樣//If you would like to plan a wonderful birthday party for your friend, abide by the above ways and you may impress your friend with such a wonderful and unforgettable memory.
其他的我覺得還不錯啦!!
只是步驟的順序感覺怪怪的
跟主題有些不連貫
加油喽:)