In our country, the government is looking forward to building a brand new factory in order to increase our country’s financial incomes. Yet, many local residents are against the project and below are the reasons for it. Although, the new factory will increase the population of our country, it may bring about various bad influences on our environment such as, air pollution, noise pollution as well as river pollution. Moreover, the dwellers in our country may be out of job, for the rate of immigration enormously increased. It causes the rate of stealing to dilate dramatically. What’s more, the people living in the country may separate from the crowd and indifferent to their neighbors. Above is a list made from the people who discus the issue of building a new factor in their town. I hope that the government will take their advice into account.
In our country, the government is looking forward to building a brand new factory in order to increase our country’s financial incomes.
ReplyDelete題目上不是政府要蓋工廠喔~
the dwellers in our country may be out of job
這邊有點奇怪~
如果蓋了工廠應該會增加工作機會喔~
Above is a list made from the people who discus the issue of building a new factor in their town.~
這邊的人稱和上面不太一樣~
要一致喔=)
三：below are the reasons(用這個effects感覺比較切題唷)for it.
ReplyDelete倒數二：discus n.鐵餅, 擲鐵餅比賽xDDDDDD
是discuss 拉!! 哈哈哈哈
結論句怪怪唷，建議改成：
I hope that the government will take these effects that are mentioned above into account.
這樣應該比較好:)?
這....怎麼變成政府要蓋工廠阿...?? 而且town變成country了.......
ReplyDelete倒數第三行who discus the issue
討論是discuss discus是擲鐵餅.. 差一個字母意思會差很多
其他的就ok
the government is looking forward to building a brand new factory in order to increase our country’s financial incomes=>這句的內容錯誤喔~是小鎮ACTON要建造喔~
ReplyDeleteYet, many local residents are against the project and below are the reasons for it=>for it我覺得可省略=))
Although, ~country=>逗號我覺得可省~
it may bring about various bad influences on our environment =>infulences "to-"對"我們的環境造成傷害~
Above is a list made from the people who discus the issue =>discuss
building a new factor in their town=>factory
這篇有一些錯字~又注意喔~
內容的部分我覺得稍微有點紊亂~
可在編排上多想過~
ps.靖苡這兩篇effect看起來都很開心呢XDDDD
加點前述吧 題目設定中的資訊前半 都沒有出現!
ReplyDeleteIt causes the rate of stealing to dilate dramatically.
// It causes a rising criminal rate
倒數2 discus(鐵餅)-> discuss(討論)
政府要蓋工廠:))
ReplyDeleteenormously increased--> increased enormously
"the dwellers in our country may be out of job
這邊有點奇怪~
如果蓋了工廠應該會增加工作機會喔~"借慧芳的來說一下xd
ada題目沒看清楚:))
Although, the ~~
ReplyDelete為什麼要逗號!!?他是連接詞唷
such as, air pollution
第一個不用逗號唷~
immigration enormously increased.
突然出現的過去式!increased.
indifferent to前面是may唷
--> be indifferent to
discus-->discuss (錯字) 這篇也是打在word上嗎?
Ada的錯誤都很特別~
a brand new factory >> a brand-new factory
ReplyDeleteAlthough, the new factory will increase the population of our country,
這句跟上面那句無法連結起來喔
你的上一句說 "下面有一些原因" 然後就接 "雖然~~"
應該還是用first second這樣列點比較恰當
such as, air pollution >> such as air pollution
discus the issue >> discuss ~
這篇很有邏輯喔!