Among all kinds of movies, I like the movie called The Chronicles Of Narnia the most, which is adapted from the novel written by the author, C.S. Lewis. And there are some brief descriptions about the content of it. It is an adventure story which consists of four main characters, telling of a journey to the edge of the world. All the roles, in the movie, are considered to be heroes, who are in charge of struggling and fighting with testing evils, deal with a wide variety of difficult challenges on their own. Besides, the story also tells the ways how the characters gradually learn to overcome their own fear, greed as well as longing for what they want. For them, the journey is not only a trial of their courage but also of their ability to do the right thing. Perhaps that is the reason which can be so attractive and appeal to readers ranged form young to old all around the world.
In my term, when it comes to the most fetching plot that touches my heart considerably most, is one of the characters, Lucy’s, sympathy for the poor. In the story, she reaches out her hand without hesitation when they need help. All she has are trust, love, as well as belief which results in many miracles happening around themselves. For me, The Chronicles Of Narnia is so full and detailed that it is worth watching; similarly,for me, it is the most perfect movies that I have ever watched.

第三行開頭不要習慣性的用and
ReplyDelete建議用別的副詞來修飾唷
第四行中間 telling a journey 沒有of喔
are considered to be heroes
>> are considered as heroes
deal with a wide variety
>> dealing with a wide variety
Perhaps that is the reason which
>>Perhaps that is the reason for which
ranged form 沒有被動式
young to old
>> the young to the old
all around the world
>> all over the world/ around the world
is one of the characters, Lucy’s, sympathy for the poor.
Lucy的憐憫新中間沒有逗號哦
trust, love, as well as belief which results in
>> trust, love, as well as belief which result in
trust 和 belief有點雷同喔
full 泛指什麼東西很滿...
可以換一個形容詞:>
that it is worth watching
>>that is worth watching
文章進步很多變的很有邏輯xDD
感覺有細心想過
繼續加油唷:-*
For them, the journey is not only a trial of their courage but also of their ability to do the right thing.
ReplyDelete應該是a trial to~
Perhaps that is the reason which can be so attractive and appeal to readers ranged form young to old all around the world.
the reason why it can be~
young和old是形容詞可改成the young &the old
In my term, when it comes to the most fetching plot that touches my heart considerably most, is one of the characters, Lucy’s, sympathy for the poor.
這邊要再多加一個"it" is one of the characters, Lucy’s sympathy for the poor.
這句的同位語one of the characters不會等於Lucy’s sympathy for the poor.
要思考一下改掉唷
In the story, she reaches out her hand without hesitation when they need help.
這裡的they指的是誰??要交代一下
我覺得你這篇寫得很棒耶
看得出來有很認真的研究過
繼續保持吧!!
1.And there are some brief descriptions about the content of it.沒有and會更順!
ReplyDelete2.telling of a journey to the edge of the world. telling後不用+of
3. All the roles, in the movie in the movie, are considered to be heroes這裡不要逗點會比較順喔
4.deal with a wide variety of difficult challenges on their own. 那個deal應該要+ing
5.their own fear我覺得可以不用+own會比較順~
6.the story also tells the ways how the characters gradually learn to overcome their own fear. 這句文法書上有說the way跟how不能同時出現喔
7.it comes to the most fetching plot that touches my heart considerably most, is one of the characters, Lucy’s, sympathy for the poor
這句很不順吶~尤其是這個considerably most
逗點分太多了我覺得~會讓別人看不懂意思
8.The Chronicles Of Narnia is so full and detailed 這句看不太懂語意
9.然後movie適用see喔
不是watch
雖然有寫語意怪怪的不過整體來說結構排的很棒!>__o
And there are some brief descriptions about the content of it=>and放在這邊怪怪的~應該不用加喔~~
ReplyDeletetelling of a journey to the edge of the world.=>不用of 喔~
deal with a wide variety of difficult challenges on their own.=>分辭構句~dealing~
Besides, the story also tells the ways how the characters gradually learn to overcome their own fear=>the way 可以省略~
For them, the journey is not only a trial of their courage but also of their ability to do the right thing.=>for=>to
空兩格唷
ReplyDelete→telling a journey
→倒數九Perhaps this is the reason for which can appeal to not only the young but also the old all over the world.
倒數七In my term用法對嗎? 式我所記得的沒錯的用法=ˇ=
→In my opinion, the character that is the most fetching and touches my heart is Lucy because of his sympathy for the poor. 改這樣比較不冗贅吧?!
→下一句(In the story,不要比較好?!) She reaches out her hand to those who are in need without hesitation.
All she has are trust, love, as well as belief which results in many miracles happening around themselves. For me, The Chronicles Of Narnia is so full and detailed that it is worth watching 不太懂這兩具的意思有些自的用法怪怪,有點像是口語式英文@@
→最後一句movies不用s唷
這篇押…
正常很多唷XDDD
第六行 deal with 是dealing with吧
ReplyDelete倒數第八行ranged form young to old
young 跟old 前面都少the
倒數第六行 is one of the characters, Lucy’s, sympathy for the poor
character指的應該是lucy吧 可是這樣寫就變成是指lucy's sympathy for the poor了 要改一下喔
倒數第四行which results in 前面講的不只一個 所以是result~
這篇文章有比以前好耶~
Among all kinds of movies, I like the movie called The Chronicles Of Narnia (the) most不用加the喔~
ReplyDeleteand再句首不好看~
可以用moreover或in addition代替~
The Chronicles Of Narnia is so full
這句的full怪怪的~
可以用fantasy或其它的來形容=)
這篇有嘗試寫出細節喔~
真的很不錯喔!!!
第三行的and不要
ReplyDeleteabout the content of it//about the outline/summary
are considered to be heroes//are considered as heroes
are considered to be heroes, who are in charge of~
//are considered to be heroes who are in charge of
不用加逗號吧,英雄應該要用限定用法吧!
in charge of struggling and fighting with testing evils
//strugging against ; fighting with
文章的邏輯好很多!!
只是有些錯誤要多注意:D